Tips for dating a busy guy

Dating a busy man can be hard on both parties. Although he has proven to you the sincerity of his feelings and shows that he wants to make you a priority, his.
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But the moment the friendship evolves into something more romantic, the expectations on him evolve as well. The dynamics will grow tense and the innocent joy you felt with each other will drown in the overwhelming tides of expectations and disappointments. How I got my impossibly busy man to fall head over heels in love with me A few years ago I was in a similar boat as you are today. I met this great if impossibly busy guy and we became incredibly close very quickly. The first time we hung out one-on-one was the second time we had ever met.

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Talking through the night, sharing deep secrets and dreams, teasing each other silly and laughing to the point where bodily fluids escaped. Those were the ONLY fluids exchanged that weekend. It was a magical connection. We quickly realized we were soul mates of some kind. It was just figuring out what KIND that took some trial and error. With Doom and Gloom off the table, we were able to fall head over heels in love with each other, as very intimate, occasionally tongue-tonsil-playing best friends.

All it took was a change of perspective to give me a happily ever after with this impossibly busy, independent, and unavailable man. Shift a few expectations, create a few boundaries and you can continue to fall in love with this man AND let him be who he needs to be at this time. Keep the dialogue going and the unique personality of your relationship will emerge. In time, a week, a month, a year, he might find he DOES a lot to give to someone and that someone might be you. Click HERE to learn what you can say to pave the way in case he does change his mind! I say yes to Love in whatever package it comes in.

How to Date an Over-Achieving, Busy Guy

Right is the guy who reciprocates your feelings and can give you the commitment you want. One year after my adventure with my unavailable man who moved to South America , I found my true romantic soul-mate who committed to me wholeheartedly, lives with me, holds me when I cry, and does all my dishes. Have you ever navigated a relationship with an unavailable man? What did that look like? Or are you navigating one right now? Can you help give me a clue on how to be more successful with the ladies? Thank you so much for all that you do.

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Or in my case, a series of narcissists? He is smart, hardworking, can be very caring, and is generally a pretty awesome person. He started his company 5 years ago, and though it's really taken off, he still works a ton late nights galore, paired with early mornings , doesn't sleep enough, etc.

He is very passionate about his work, and this is one of the things I admire about him. He makes time to see me as possible we usually see each other one evening a week, sometimes two with friends his or mine , and we usually hang out for the majority of a weekend day each week unless either one of us is out of town.

Although I wish I could see him more, I have accepted that that isn't going to be what our relationship looks like for the foreseeable future.


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I've read up on others' experiences with dating entrepreneurs, and inevitably the time thing is a challenge, and the advice is consistently that partners should be very patient and supportive to make a relationship with an entrepreneur work. What I really struggle with is that, in the time we do spend together, I don't feel like he is particularly emotionally available. While he is affectionate if I initiate, he is pretty bad about initiating shows of affection. He doesn't really volunteer emotional information; he'll respond when I ask, but the response is usually pretty limited.

The relationship has progressed extremely slowly think: Nevertheless, I've noticed that even when he'll tell me that his schedule is set and he can't see me more, he will make exceptions despite this. I do feel like things have progressed -- very slowly, but I do see signs of deepening commitment on his end. I admit I have my own emotional unavailability issues and am terrified of sticking this out because it might not work this is a pattern for me.

I am examining all this with a therapist. I also have to admit that one of my big fears that causes a lot of my emotional upsets in this relationship is the fact that I am now nearly 29, and I do want a family.


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I know all the rational stuff about how you can't just come up with a timeline for getting married, etc, but I know that this is a factor that is probably complicating this relationship that I need to figure out how to fix on my end. I don't know the guy well enough yet to say whether I would like to marry him someday, and I would definitely need a lot more time to even think about that. I do get nervous about the current state of our relationship because it is hard not to think about what trying to have kids and a life with someone so busy would be like.

On the other hand, I would like to end up with someone who is an overachiever like me, so I know this might be one of those "choose your poison" types of situations. It'd be great to hear from any entrepreneurs out there who have an idea what his lifestyle might be like. Of course, I am also asking him about this and thinking through this on my own for when we reconvene to talk about it, but I am looking to generate additional ideas I might not have thought of.

Practical tips are super welcome. I know that ultimate it all comes down to choices, but I would like to give him a chance to learn if he does, in fact, want to. I would hate for someone else to rule me out because of things I am not great at, and lord knows I have my own relationship skills to improve. What do you want in a relationship? If your needs are not being met,you are not required to be "more patient". He has a right to have his schedule, but you also have the right to have a relationship where you see the person X number of times a week, and they are emotionally available when you do see them.

If he's willing to change, that's great-but is he? Nothing you've written indicates that s the case.

It seems like you've already compromised a lot on what you want and I fail to see why you should compromise even more. But those seem like likely possibilities from what I can gather.

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That's just my take. PS- I've been in a relationship with someone who was emotionally unavailable and had little time for me. I felt like I was belittling myself and squeezing myself into a smaller and smaller box by telling myself that I also wanted "time to be independent" and "didn't need to spend that much time with him". He talked of spending more time together but never followed through. I later found out I was not the only person he was in a relationship with.

Another way of looking at it that helps give perspective — and will do so for you too — is that being passionate about your work and seeing it as something you want to achieve in life, is the same thing as being emotionally invested in relationships and seeing a relationship and family as something you want to achieve in life. This is not a message we're used to hearing, and when we do hear it, it tends to be "feminized" i. Why is "investment" automatically interpreted as relating to money, when one can "invest" in relationships too?

You can see the cracks in societal discourse when it comes to "networking". Why is "networking" seen as this clean, smart, businessy thing to do, when it is building relationships, i.

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Because you're supposed to evaluate and utilize the value of your network? Uh, yeah, that's called maintaining relationships.


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It's very much a shame, because white men as the privileged tend to get this full throttle and really have issues seeing relationships as something they're already doing in their careers and thus could easily see as just as valuable in their personal lives , whereas we women, by dint of anything having the merest whiff of "relationship" being belittled, no matter how professional or societal-appearances-successful, tend to grok more easily that we're being sold a rotten bill of sale.

All that to say. Your boyfriend is aware he's emotionally unavailable in his personal life, okay, but is he taking concrete steps to get better at it? Is he identifying ways he can improve or is he counting on "upsets" to push him?